Ninja for Hire!!

I was on the local news classfieds and I found the following post:



My name is Jon i am a person willing to do any odd job for the right price, just like ninjas in Japan use to do it. I have added some jobs to the list***

I must clarify a few details about what i do. ---------------------------------------------
My Rules: 1. I will do almost any Job.

2. I don't do any jobs that cause harm to people or property, and i don't do collection or repo jobs.

3. Jobs that i do are simple jobs such as handyman jobs, moving jobs, i stick to simple things so they do not become complex and take alot of time.

4. I do offer some specialty jobs upon request, please ask me when you call if your job offer fits this category, rates vary depending on the job. 5

I am one ninja, i work alone and don't contract or take work from out of state, if you have buisness that is not in utah i can't help you. Utah only, Salt Lake Area. (It is for the simple reason i have limited travel ability that is why i can not work out of state) ---------------------------------------------


Here is a list of jobs i offer. Note that its local work only.

Basic Jobs: security work.
house or apartment cleaning.
moving help.
birthdays.
suprise parties.
basic repair jobs.
some self defense
and other training.
House and apartment sitting.
demonstrations.
corperate parties.
trapping strayes.

**please ask me about any jobs you want done if it is not listed in this section.


Jobs for a Ninja:
Stealth.Espionage.
Survellance.
Collect Intel.
Ninja training.
Custom made ninja gear.
Personal security.
Home security.

**please ask me about any jobs you want done if it is not listed in this section.


**Specialty Jobs**: Things that are not a normal request or that are for real special things, please ask when you call for more details. ------------------------------------------------ Other than these my trade is simple, you call and offer the job, We'll discuss the details, i'll decide if i want it, that easy. I do dress in a full black suit resembling a ninja if this alarms you please don't worry i only wear the clothing, i carry some weapons, depending on the job, on my person. I do take this very seriously and do not like people calling to make fun of it, please call only if you are serious about retaining my services for any work. **It is on you to ask about these services when you call i don't read minds or stuff like that please be open and honest about what work you want done when you call. Please contact me by my mobile number (Call or Text) to discuss work or ask any questions. Jon Ninja 8015760965 Location:Salt Lake Valley



This is classic! My favorite is "Some Self Defense" are you a Ninja or not Jon?

I think he is missing:


Assasination
Torture
blow gun demonstrations
Black powder bombs



Oh yeah he says he'll do any odd job for the right price. Hey Jon Ninja I have a job for you....scooping my dogs poop...oh and if you can do it without a trace you just earned yourself a shiny quarter.